Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Starting Treatment

I will be starting treatment for Hep-C , in about
a month or so. Treatment lasts from 24-72 weeks.
My new doctor says that I am a good candidate for
this kind of treatment and that it should be successful. 
But, I do have to learn to inject (syringe) myself maybe
 up to 4 times a week during treatment. Ouch!

Wish me luck. :-)

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

I Am Still Updating

Every once in a while I will update this ancient blog.
This Weblog De Fuego homepage is linked to other
blogs of mine. 

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Just Getting Back From There

"There" is a place that only I can go
But just because I'm back, don't mean
you can go and start asking a Zillion ?'s
about where is "There"

"There" is somewhere in my head, so it's
not like anybody else can just go there.
What?.......forget it!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Forgetting About My Sonnets

It is easy for me to just forget about all
the sonnets that I have written. So I need 
myself. 

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Something Is Blocking Me!

I still can't write a thing on this my Weblog.
I go to forums and write things, but here,
forget it! Maybe I am just bored with this
whole blog thing........again. But it is a log of
my bipolarity from July of 2007 so I still
need to write something down even if it is
just I HATE DOING THIS NOW!!! ......sorry.



Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Maybe I'm Possessed After All?

I am definitely possessed with depression.
So if there is a spirit of depression, then I
got the little bastard inside of me. So......
the question really is: Is there a spirit
of depression? If I go to my Christian forum
and suggest a spirit of depression, then
most will agree. But if I suggest that I am
possessed with such a spirit, then eyebrows
go up and my salvation gets questioned.

If I go to my bipolar forum and suggest
a spirit of depression, most will not agree
and call it a chemical imbalance which it
actually is. BUT, my question is wondering
if the chemical imbalance is really caused
by the spirit of bipolarity? ...........WHAT?

Forget it?

Sunday, March 01, 2009

60 Sonnets From 2002

I wrote these 60 sonnets to inspire myself 
while being falsely accused and put into prison. 
It all turned out OK in the end, but these sonnets
are the product of it all. Please Enjoy!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Nothing Intelligent To Say

Thinking of something intelligent to say
just doesn't work for me sometimes. I could
blame it on my depression, so I will. :-)>

Friday, February 27, 2009

Asked G-d To Take Me

Yesterday I asked G-d to take me but
G-d let me live one more day, so here I am.
Hurrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Oh Tetragrammaton!

Keep me from those who would let me
do harm to myself, by believing their lies,
and kill me Oh G-d for my stupidity/foolishness,
and receive my spirit into your loving hands.

*Angel lies down and waits for G-d to take him
for being too stupid to live*

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Don't Matter How Far You Come

There will always be someone who thinks
that you have to still come up to their image
level in their serpent brain. For example:
I used to be a wizard and have actually called
the spirits of the dead into my presence so as
to effect things around me and to even enter
the body of a living person their perfect twin. 
But I gave that all up for Yeshua.  What?

Forget it!


Monday, February 23, 2009

Who Were the Nephilim?



Click here to find out what the Bible says

DAB is Down?

If anyone finds their way here from Daily
Audio Bible, please tell Brian that the DAB
site is down. Every time I try to go there,
all I get is this:

Database Error: Unable to connect to the database:Could not connect to MySQL

It don't seem like it is a problem from my end, since every place
else I want to go on the net, I can go. It all started after trying to
reply to a new thread titled COKE. the author is called iamacanadian1
or something like that. I did get back once this morning and left a post
on the windfarm new thread.......anyway!

Obama is AntiChrist?

I have been wondering since before
his election, if Obama could be the 
so called AntiChrist or angel of light
who takes over little by little and even
almost tricks the true believers.
But now if Obama nationalizes the banks
City Group and Bank of America....and it
looks that way, then Obama really is the
AntiChrist. I have done lots of research
on this.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Demonic Stronghold ?

Why on earth the devil would ever want
to hold me, is beyond me. I don't like him 
either. It seems like spirit molestation akin
to child molestation. That is to say, if the devil
ever had a stronghold on me, it would be because
he was spiritually molesting me. Like a spiritual
pervert. Does this make any sense?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Mexican Muslims-This is Not Good

Right in out back yard, we (USA) have a growing
problem. Right now it seems harmless, but later
we may have Islamic Mexican extremists living
in TJ. Click here to see and here the nest of 
vipers forming. 

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Mexico Discovers Islam

The fact that Mexico is turning to Islam
makes me wonder about Muslim & Catholic
relations in the same towns. Sounds dangerous!
I live right near the border on USA side, so 
I hope not!


Market Losses, No Big deal

Wife and I have lost $20.000 in recent market
down turns, but I really don't care. Like Job
in the Bible, I came in with nothing, and would
rather go with nothing. My depression has 
nothing to do with money. I have been homeless
and poor many times in my life because of my 
bipolarity. The truth is I will never be rich since
Jesus says that it is almost impossible for a rich
man to go to heaven.....so I don't want to be rich,
cause that thought scares me.

see article below:

Monday, February 16, 2009

Brian DAB Look Alike Contest



As you can see, I look just like Brian on his DAB site
photo. I even wear black too! :-)> Luv You brother Brian!

Gyd.


If I Was Not a Christian, I'd Kill Myself

Thank G-d that I am a believer in Him,
or I would have killed myself months ago.
I could still get worse with depression but
I am hoping that my faith will make the
difference in the end. Only G-d or meds can
save me now. Now I understand why people
do it since bipolarity really can drive one mad.



Sunday, February 15, 2009

Bipolarity Sucks and Then U Die

I have been bipolar my whole life, but this
is the first time that I have had a Major 
depression like this. It really does get worse
with age. I will soon go on meds and am even
asking for prayer. it's all up to G-d now!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

God Or G-d

Sometimes we Jews write God like: G-d
depending on who we are talking with.
But I am a Christian Jew sometimes called
Messianic Jew. So when I am on a Christian
forum I write God, but when I am on the
messianic forum I write G-d. Sometimes
I can't remember which is which and where
I am so to me God is really G-d

What?
Forget it!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Nothing To Say Today

Nothing to say today
My brain has gone away
But even if I did
Both my lips have hid :-
Can't find them on my face
They moved from their old place
If you see them send them home
So I can end this poem.:-) 

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My Manias Can Be Golden

When we bipolar' are off our meds and in a manic
episode, we can feel like gods in mind body and soul
even though others don't see it. It's that silky smooth
feeling in my soul, like rubbing up against or touching
G-d feeling that I get at times. like when I know all
the answers to all the questions. Like when my every
thought seems like a glimmering jewel on a platter of
silver.....at least to me. A controlled mania (by willpower)
is for me a powerful tool that has no equal. If it was up
to me, I would always be in a controlled mania, but it's
not up to me, it's up to my bipolarity which also can be
depressive causing stupidity. I have recently learned that
there may be new meds out there that can keep me up
and smart, I hope so cause being depressed and dumb 
is just no fun at all. :-)

Monday, February 09, 2009

Seeing My Cycles Without Meds

It was almost impossible for me to note
my bipolar cycles in the past, since I was
always high on something. But after not
drinking alcohol for over a year and not
doing other drugs, I can finally see it
when I shift from one cycle to the next.

Last October 2008 I can remember the
feeling of coming down from a, what seemed
like, two year mania. I went from being 
energetic, sharp/smart, always doing a
project and loving life, to a depressed mess
without the smarts to to anything...... all
within 3-4 days. I couldn't believe it but
it happened before my very eyes. Then I
said, YES I finally got to see and note first
hand while sober, a cycle change in progress.

I was so excited to be witnessing and 
experiencing my cycle change, that I never
felt it until I did, meaning it all happened
so fast that it was over by the time I felt it.
Anyway, now I am looking forward to seeing
my change from this depression I am in, to
an up and energetic mania. But I hope it 
happens soon, cause I am about to go on meds
if it doesn't.  

Sunday, February 08, 2009

I May Have To Go On Meds

As much as I hate the idea of going on meds,
I may have to anyway. For the first time in
my adult life, I am in a depressive cycle of
my bipolarity. This is not just a few days or
weeks, but since October of 2008. I have never
been this depressed for this long. This is all 
new to me as I am used to being up manic and
creating art. I am learning a lot about bipolar
meds from a bipolar forum I joined last week.
It seems that I can take some meds and still
be creative, only time will tell. I see a new
pdoc on March 2nd and I am thinking about
trying Lamictal and Ambilify.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

True Bipolarity is Rare

More often than not, doctors diagnose bipolarity
as a means to sell their bipolar drugs. This is
now common knowledge among true bipolar'.
I heard a doctor on the net saying that there
are 6 million bipolar' in the USA alone.
But what he didn't say was that out of the 6
million only 600 thousand are true bipolar
and the rest are just led to believe that they
are bipolar. We all know that doctors are in
bed with the drug makers to push their drugs.
True bipolarity is artistic creative genius, but
the rest are just collateral damage. Victims of
the drug makers and their doctors. According 
to doctor (her math) Kay Jamison who is bipolar 
herself, there are only 600 thousand true bipolar' 
worldwide, and 90% of these are artists.

Read Touched With Fire by Dr. Kay Redfield
Jamison. 



Friday, February 06, 2009

Bipolar and Grandiosity

I really don't need to say much here save that
grandiosity is a symptom of bipolarity. It can 
be treated with meds. If you are grandiose then
people won't like to be around you and will walk
away from you shaking their heads. 

GRANDIOSITY..... Don't go there girlfriend.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Good News From My Doctor

It seems that I am not going to die after all.
At least not from any liver problem and not
tomorrow. Oh well! better luck next time!!!

Monday, February 02, 2009

Walking Away For a While

I have decided to not post anymore on the
Science Forum, at least for a long while.
All I do there is to make myself look more
stupid than I already am. After being accused
of trying to make a pity-party for myself
I realized that I was wasting my time there.
If people want to learn about bipolarity then
they can just go read about it themselves.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Starting to Talk a Little

Coming out of depression and into my manic cycle
is always interesting in that I start to talk more.
But at first it seems that what I have to say makes
no sense at all. For example, I am now starting to
write threads on the science forum but the people
there don't know me from Adam and are a little
offended by my grandiosity and ego about my
creative genius. But I do not expect everyone to
know all about bipolarity and its connection to
creative genius. If everyone in the world read
the same books that I have about bipolarity, then
we would all be on the same track. It is a task to
try and educate people about true bipolarity and
it symptoms. I have had it my whole life so I know
what the hell I am talking about. Believe me when
I say that bipolarity is the breeding ground of creative
genius. All true artists are truly bipolar. It is as simple
as that and according to years of my research. But don't
take my word for it. Read Touched With Fire by Dr.
Kay Jamison. She is the worlds leading authority on
bipolarity and has written 5 books about it.

 

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Coming Out of My Depression

I am finally coming up and out of my depressive cycle.
These things take time and are easily documented.
But only another bipolar like myself can truly know
what I am talking about and be interested in such things.
That is why I try to write it all down. But in the past I
have deleted many blogs about my bipolar cycles due
to the nature of their content. That is to say, I sometimes
create blogs that have evil type content such as my
Achrist blogs from last year. Those blogs were product 
of a manic episode and should have been left as documentation
of the same. But people who find these type of blogs, do
not know that they are just the product of mania and
that the blogs author (me) am not always like that.


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

To The Normal Eye

To the normal eye, I have a stigma. My stigma
is my mental illness and my mental illness is
my manic-depressive bipolarity. But true bipolarity
breeds creative genius which is seen by the normal
eye as a gift. So my stigma is a gift. But the normal
eye is not gifted and lacks to much stigma. So we
discard it as undesirable. The normal eye belongs
to the normal person lacking stigma and the gift.
But that which lacks the gift is undesirable so we
should discard it to the fire. So all normal people
will be discarded into the fire since they lack the
desired gift. That leaves all of us stigmatic mentally
ill and gifted people finally in charge of the world.

Social stigma, a severe social disapproval of personal characteristics 
or beliefs that are against cultural norms. A topic in mental health 
literature.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Bipolar Music

My bipolar piano music can be heard here
But why on earth would anyone want
to hear bipolar music? G-d only knows.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Art And Bipolar Cycles

It is experienced by Angel that creating art is
best done while in a mania, and that all other
art is just wana be art.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Waiting For A Mania

As an artist, Angel lives for his up time to create.
There is nothing else in the world like a good 
controlled mania for creating art. But this can
not be forced nor induced by drugs. It must come
as and be natural in order to be sustainable. 

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Almost There

Right now Angel is kinda almost there. That is to 
say, actually in a mania. In the beginning of his
manic climbs, he goes up 1 stair but down two stairs. 
This happens for about a month then it starts to
climb level. It is in the "Almost There" mode that
Angels gets nothing done. Angel is NOW in this mode
but showing signs of life with this post.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Documenting My Illness

Since 2007, Weblog De Fuego has been trying to
document the up and down cycles of bipolarity.
Angel De Fuego sometimes deletes blogs (pages)
of Weblog De Fuego that were products of his manic
episodes. But in doing so, some of the vital data
related to bipolarity gets deleted also. This example
shows what this means. Those people who got to 
see this now deleted blog, know full well what
this means. Angels potential for looking evil is 
great, but his heart is not into it. So blogs get deleted
that should have been left to study for info about
bipolar cycles. After deleting about 10 blogs that
related to Angels claim to be the Achrist, and other
evil related looking stuff. Angel now feels that he
should have left these blogs as documented evidence 
of his bipolar cycles. The fact that they existed and
were seen, read, heard, and commented upon by
people, is proof alone that Angel is truly crazy.

But Angel is now walking upon a different road than
before. Angel agrees with his new President, that we
all must leave behind childish things, and start to
try to help out more, each his fellow man. So during
Angels next manic episode, becoming the Achrist will
NOT happen. Instead, (though anything could happen)
Angel will try to focus his creative energies on helping
America move forward as a Christian Nation under G-d.
Although Angel will most likely NOT go door to door
with a gospel, he could however put a large wooden
cross on a small wheel, and drag it thru town.

Even so, Angel feels very lucky and very loved by G-d
that he has SSI only each month, to get him by.
That is to say, in light of recent economic events and
the fact that Angels neighbor just lost his job and has
NO income. So being mentally ill and on SSI right now
does not seem as bad as it used to. 

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Moving Right Along

Weblog De Fuego thinks it could do more than 
just to sit around and contemplate its own navel.
Weblog De Fuego has been posting since 2007
but has never been political or informative. 
Its creator, Angel De Fuego, has serious mental
issues from severe bipolarity and can mostly 
only function  as an artist in seclusion. 
Deep depression restricts and confines Angel
at home and this depression comes in cycles.

During the highs (mania) of each cycle, Angel is
creating art, but not commercially. But the cycles 
get worse with age, so Angel goes even further
into the insanity of his mental illness. That means
almost anything could happen on Weblog De Fuego.
Those who already know about Weblog De Fuego
and its completely dark and evil past, have an idea
of what this means. Angel has deleted many of his
dark evil and Achrist blogs. Those blogs were product
of many manic episodes. Anything could happen on
this blog in 2009. Angel has a mania coming. 
It is a law in his cycles, that after a depression there
is a mania. Angel takes no medication for bipolarity
and this gives full rein of the illness to show itself
in full, and thereby be documented.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Speech: In My Own Little World

This is not a political blog, and I have bipolarity.
That pretty much assures that no body will ever
read this blog. But I walk alone on the road of life
with faith in G-d, that I too can someday become
something or someone. A voice crying in the dark
and media-less solitude which lies not within my 
own mind, but the real state of affairs which affairs
are questioned in the face of reality. So I now pick
myself off, dust myself up, and join my new leader
to keep to myself and out of society where I am a
nuisance. It is indeed better for all mankind, that I
just sit down and shut up and stop making myself
looking foolish to the world. However, I can not do
this alone, I need your help. Each American must do
his part in the effort to tie me down to a chair and
formal meeting. 

It won't be easy, at first  there will be struggles and
false starts, but I know that as a people, you all can
keep me safe and from the evils of the world. I want 
to make it into heaven, but if each one of you takes
part in me being influenced by evil, then I too will
start to act as you and become evil also. It is the 
responsibility of each American to keep me safe and
out of arms way. That is why I have signed into act
this law that forces every American to protect my
rights and keep me alive and safe. This also guarantees 
my safe arrival in heaven and for eternity with G-d.

Thank you and may G-d bless America.



Monday, January 19, 2009

Mexico Collapsing


Mexico in danger of collapse,
says US army
 - Jan 16, 2009

America, which shares a 2000 mile border with Mexico, would be the
obvious destination for massive refugee flows if its neighbour descended 
into civil war...

Experts say: Iran Will Have Nuke This Year

Iran will have nuke this year.
A panel of experts has concluded that time is dangerously running 
out for the U.S. to put in place a protective anti-missile umbrella. 
The biggest threat is Iran, which the panel forecasts will have the 
A-Bomb this year.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Islam Out of Mexico

Islamic missions in Mex. are popping up in recent
years. In 2005, then President Fox of Mex. said that
he was concerned with  an ever growing islamic 
community in Mexico and its ties to al-Qaida.

to help fight war on drugs.

  

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Islam On March South of Border


Mexico agrees to monitor foreign groups as 
Muslim recruitment rate skyrockets.

In recent years islamic recruitment has taken foothold
in Mexico, and it is just a matter of time before Mexican
drug war lords become Islamic Jihadist. If USA does not
do something about it now, then we will soon be fighting
a holy war with Mexico.  

The recruitment of new followers is especially active in southern Mexico and among the indigenous Mayans who are converting by the hundreds, according to a report in Der Spiegel. The Mexican government, the report says, is concerned about a culture clash in its own back yard.

About 300 Tzozil-Indians have converted to Islam in recent years and it's a development that is beginning to worry the Mexican government, said the Der Spiegel report. The government even suspects the new converts of subversive activity and has already set the secret service onto the track of the Mayan Muslims. Mexican President Vincente Fox has even gone so far as to say he fears the influence of the radical fundamentalists of al-Qaida.

Indeed, with Islamic "charities" under increasing international pressure and scrutiny to cut ties with terrorists, al-Qaida and other allied organizations are expanding operations throughout Latin America, establishing both legitimate and criminal enterprises to fund future operations.

From a 2005 article 

Friday, January 16, 2009

Border Invasion Pics

Click here to see current photos/videos
of illegals crossing into USA. This is and
will continue to be a problem until we build
the dooms day device and set it off in Mex.
city. Once all the Mexicans are dead, then we
can march into Mex. and re-claim it for America
and apple pie. Then we will import people from
South America to do the jobs that used to belong
to those Mexicans.......God save the Queen. 

I don't like Mexicans illegally crossing over into
my American border town with an over inflated
sense of privilege to my Governments storehouse.
If Mexicans would put as much creative energy into
their own countries well being, as they do into getting
illegally across the border, then they would see their
own resources as exploitable and sustainable.
Having the USA and its tempting glitter shinning in the
Mexican eye, is just a stumbling block to the mexican 
people and their own success. They would rather come
to the USA and sponge off its welfare system than stay
in Mex. and learn how to get their own oil out of the 
ground.  They all make me sick!

USA Mexico War

Every day, I hear gun fire across the border.
I live in San Ysidro USA a stones throw from the 
border. I don't have kids, but if I did, I would 
keep them inside and out of school. It is not safe
for Americans to go into mexico anymore. 4000
drug war related deaths were in TJ alone in 2008.

We here in San Ysidro need the USA troops here
right now to prevent an eventual drug war here in
San Ysidro. The Mexican troops came too late to
TJ and long after the drug war began. But if we can
protect San Ysidro from such a thing happening,
by brining the troops in first, then I think we should.
There is also a growing islamic movement in Mexico
since and before 2005. But now it is getting worse. 
Are the Mex. drug war Lords really islamic extremists?
If there not now, they will soon be.
 

Thursday, January 15, 2009

USA Mexico War

USA Mexico War


A real war is coming around border crossing issues but mexico 
is too ignorant to see it. I predict troop build ups, on both sides 
of the border, in the near future. More Americans will become 
even less tolerant of illegal mexicans crossing each day. It's just a 
matter of time before USA Closes the border in and out of Mex.
Now USA Marines are no longer allowed in Mex. And Mex. is 
on the verge of total collapse of its internal structure.  Once the 
drug war in TJ spills over into USA border towns like San Ysidro,
then the USA troops will start collecting there in San Ysidro.
Once that happens...and it will, then all hell will break lose. 
 


Thursday, January 01, 2009

Mexico in Civil War: Will Soon Collapse?

Travel Warning About Mexico

The drug related civil war inside mexico rages on out
of control while travel warnings go out to all North
American to "Stay out of Mexico" until further advised.