Monday, February 09, 2009

Seeing My Cycles Without Meds

It was almost impossible for me to note
my bipolar cycles in the past, since I was
always high on something. But after not
drinking alcohol for over a year and not
doing other drugs, I can finally see it
when I shift from one cycle to the next.

Last October 2008 I can remember the
feeling of coming down from a, what seemed
like, two year mania. I went from being 
energetic, sharp/smart, always doing a
project and loving life, to a depressed mess
without the smarts to to anything...... all
within 3-4 days. I couldn't believe it but
it happened before my very eyes. Then I
said, YES I finally got to see and note first
hand while sober, a cycle change in progress.

I was so excited to be witnessing and 
experiencing my cycle change, that I never
felt it until I did, meaning it all happened
so fast that it was over by the time I felt it.
Anyway, now I am looking forward to seeing
my change from this depression I am in, to
an up and energetic mania. But I hope it 
happens soon, cause I am about to go on meds
if it doesn't.  

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