Saturday, February 28, 2009

Nothing Intelligent To Say

Thinking of something intelligent to say
just doesn't work for me sometimes. I could
blame it on my depression, so I will. :-)>

Friday, February 27, 2009

Asked G-d To Take Me

Yesterday I asked G-d to take me but
G-d let me live one more day, so here I am.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Oh Tetragrammaton!

Keep me from those who would let me
do harm to myself, by believing their lies,
and kill me Oh G-d for my stupidity/foolishness,
and receive my spirit into your loving hands.

*Angel lies down and waits for G-d to take him
for being too stupid to live*

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Don't Matter How Far You Come

There will always be someone who thinks
that you have to still come up to their image
level in their serpent brain. For example:
I used to be a wizard and have actually called
the spirits of the dead into my presence so as
to effect things around me and to even enter
the body of a living person their perfect twin. 
But I gave that all up for Yeshua.  What?

Forget it!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Who Were the Nephilim?

Click here to find out what the Bible says

DAB is Down?

If anyone finds their way here from Daily
Audio Bible, please tell Brian that the DAB
site is down. Every time I try to go there,
all I get is this:

Database Error: Unable to connect to the database:Could not connect to MySQL

It don't seem like it is a problem from my end, since every place
else I want to go on the net, I can go. It all started after trying to
reply to a new thread titled COKE. the author is called iamacanadian1
or something like that. I did get back once this morning and left a post
on the windfarm new thread.......anyway!

Obama is AntiChrist?

I have been wondering since before
his election, if Obama could be the 
so called AntiChrist or angel of light
who takes over little by little and even
almost tricks the true believers.
But now if Obama nationalizes the banks
City Group and Bank of America....and it
looks that way, then Obama really is the
AntiChrist. I have done lots of research
on this.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Demonic Stronghold ?

Why on earth the devil would ever want
to hold me, is beyond me. I don't like him 
either. It seems like spirit molestation akin
to child molestation. That is to say, if the devil
ever had a stronghold on me, it would be because
he was spiritually molesting me. Like a spiritual
pervert. Does this make any sense?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Mexican Muslims-This is Not Good

Right in out back yard, we (USA) have a growing
problem. Right now it seems harmless, but later
we may have Islamic Mexican extremists living
in TJ. Click here to see and here the nest of 
vipers forming. 

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Mexico Discovers Islam

The fact that Mexico is turning to Islam
makes me wonder about Muslim & Catholic
relations in the same towns. Sounds dangerous!
I live right near the border on USA side, so 
I hope not!

Market Losses, No Big deal

Wife and I have lost $20.000 in recent market
down turns, but I really don't care. Like Job
in the Bible, I came in with nothing, and would
rather go with nothing. My depression has 
nothing to do with money. I have been homeless
and poor many times in my life because of my 
bipolarity. The truth is I will never be rich since
Jesus says that it is almost impossible for a rich
man to go to I don't want to be rich,
cause that thought scares me.

see article below:

Monday, February 16, 2009

Brian DAB Look Alike Contest

As you can see, I look just like Brian on his DAB site
photo. I even wear black too! :-)> Luv You brother Brian!


If I Was Not a Christian, I'd Kill Myself

Thank G-d that I am a believer in Him,
or I would have killed myself months ago.
I could still get worse with depression but
I am hoping that my faith will make the
difference in the end. Only G-d or meds can
save me now. Now I understand why people
do it since bipolarity really can drive one mad.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Bipolarity Sucks and Then U Die

I have been bipolar my whole life, but this
is the first time that I have had a Major 
depression like this. It really does get worse
with age. I will soon go on meds and am even
asking for prayer. it's all up to G-d now!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

God Or G-d

Sometimes we Jews write God like: G-d
depending on who we are talking with.
But I am a Christian Jew sometimes called
Messianic Jew. So when I am on a Christian
forum I write God, but when I am on the
messianic forum I write G-d. Sometimes
I can't remember which is which and where
I am so to me God is really G-d

Forget it!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Nothing To Say Today

Nothing to say today
My brain has gone away
But even if I did
Both my lips have hid :-
Can't find them on my face
They moved from their old place
If you see them send them home
So I can end this poem.:-) 

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My Manias Can Be Golden

When we bipolar' are off our meds and in a manic
episode, we can feel like gods in mind body and soul
even though others don't see it. It's that silky smooth
feeling in my soul, like rubbing up against or touching
G-d feeling that I get at times. like when I know all
the answers to all the questions. Like when my every
thought seems like a glimmering jewel on a platter of least to me. A controlled mania (by willpower)
is for me a powerful tool that has no equal. If it was up
to me, I would always be in a controlled mania, but it's
not up to me, it's up to my bipolarity which also can be
depressive causing stupidity. I have recently learned that
there may be new meds out there that can keep me up
and smart, I hope so cause being depressed and dumb 
is just no fun at all. :-)

Monday, February 09, 2009

Seeing My Cycles Without Meds

It was almost impossible for me to note
my bipolar cycles in the past, since I was
always high on something. But after not
drinking alcohol for over a year and not
doing other drugs, I can finally see it
when I shift from one cycle to the next.

Last October 2008 I can remember the
feeling of coming down from a, what seemed
like, two year mania. I went from being 
energetic, sharp/smart, always doing a
project and loving life, to a depressed mess
without the smarts to to anything...... all
within 3-4 days. I couldn't believe it but
it happened before my very eyes. Then I
said, YES I finally got to see and note first
hand while sober, a cycle change in progress.

I was so excited to be witnessing and 
experiencing my cycle change, that I never
felt it until I did, meaning it all happened
so fast that it was over by the time I felt it.
Anyway, now I am looking forward to seeing
my change from this depression I am in, to
an up and energetic mania. But I hope it 
happens soon, cause I am about to go on meds
if it doesn't.  

Sunday, February 08, 2009

I May Have To Go On Meds

As much as I hate the idea of going on meds,
I may have to anyway. For the first time in
my adult life, I am in a depressive cycle of
my bipolarity. This is not just a few days or
weeks, but since October of 2008. I have never
been this depressed for this long. This is all 
new to me as I am used to being up manic and
creating art. I am learning a lot about bipolar
meds from a bipolar forum I joined last week.
It seems that I can take some meds and still
be creative, only time will tell. I see a new
pdoc on March 2nd and I am thinking about
trying Lamictal and Ambilify.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

True Bipolarity is Rare

More often than not, doctors diagnose bipolarity
as a means to sell their bipolar drugs. This is
now common knowledge among true bipolar'.
I heard a doctor on the net saying that there
are 6 million bipolar' in the USA alone.
But what he didn't say was that out of the 6
million only 600 thousand are true bipolar
and the rest are just led to believe that they
are bipolar. We all know that doctors are in
bed with the drug makers to push their drugs.
True bipolarity is artistic creative genius, but
the rest are just collateral damage. Victims of
the drug makers and their doctors. According 
to doctor (her math) Kay Jamison who is bipolar 
herself, there are only 600 thousand true bipolar' 
worldwide, and 90% of these are artists.

Read Touched With Fire by Dr. Kay Redfield

Friday, February 06, 2009

Bipolar and Grandiosity

I really don't need to say much here save that
grandiosity is a symptom of bipolarity. It can 
be treated with meds. If you are grandiose then
people won't like to be around you and will walk
away from you shaking their heads. 

GRANDIOSITY..... Don't go there girlfriend.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Good News From My Doctor

It seems that I am not going to die after all.
At least not from any liver problem and not
tomorrow. Oh well! better luck next time!!!

Monday, February 02, 2009

Walking Away For a While

I have decided to not post anymore on the
Science Forum, at least for a long while.
All I do there is to make myself look more
stupid than I already am. After being accused
of trying to make a pity-party for myself
I realized that I was wasting my time there.
If people want to learn about bipolarity then
they can just go read about it themselves.