Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Hard To Keep Up With It All

My 89 year old Mother sitting on my Harley in 2010

I find it hard to keep up with life while being depressed.
I don't like always coming here with my depression and
at a low point. But i have nothing else to write about.
My whole life has become about my damn depression.

Today I went on new meds for my bipolar to see if I can
get feeling better. I can't handle being depressed anymore
so I am going on Lithium even though Lithium hampers
my creative spark. If I can stay baseline then I can create
and hopefully my new meds cocktail will do that. :-|

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Creating Art While Depressed?

I guess technically speaking, I could create art while depressed,
but I really don't have the feeling to do it while depressed. So
I need to force myself just a little to get into a creative mood.
A lot depends on if I am set up or not. Meaning is everything
ready or do I have to do something else first?

It's pretty easy to just sit down at the piano and start playing
a beautiful improv, but when the piano is all the way out in
the garage and I have to walk out in the rain to get to it, then
thats something else. Also The piano/keyboard is connected
to a computer which I must first turn on to activate the piano
program. Anyway........... Each thing I have to do makes it harder
to do the thing that I wanted to do in the first place. That is what
bipolar depression is all about.
Welcome to my world!

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Can't Create While Depressed

I do most all of my piano stuff while manic or at least baseline.
It just takes too much energy while depressed or seems that way.
Wishing I would cycle up to manic soon.