Saturday, December 31, 2011

Last Day

This is new years Eve and the last day of 2011.
I believe 2012 will bring in many changes and some
even good. happy new year to all.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Penis Enlargement

First of all, yes it does really work with the right
equipment and technique. Secondly I have personally
gained over 1" (inch) since Sept/20/2011 and this by
working the exercises/techniques daily.

I came upon it by researching Peyronie's Disease which
I got at the beginning of 2011. That led me to the cure and
some other surprising info.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Soul Shields 2012

If your not wearing your soul shields in 2012 then you should be.
Without them you are opening the doors and windows to your soul
by which can enter every evil thing proceeding from the Dark Riff
as the Mayans predicted would happen.

Dark Riff

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Ballade Update

Fredric Chopin 1810-1849

I am moving right along with the ballade in spite of the
Dupuytren's Contracture which affects both my hands
but mostly my #3 finger on my right hand.

So far I have been able to play thru without any pain
or discomfort and I think my #3 finger is starting to
straighten out a bit do to constant tapping of the keys.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Off Lithium and On New Meds

I went on new meds two weeks ago and I'm Off Lithium.
Today my doctor said to give the new meds time to work.
So I hope in two more weeks I will be feeling better.

Saturday, April 02, 2011

Finally On Good Dose of Lithium

My Pdoc put me on 900mg of Lithium yesterday so now
after 5-7 days, I will see if it works for me to stop my
depression. Wish me luck. :-)

Thursday, March 24, 2011

I Finally Got On Lithium

I am on a low dose for now but later my doctor will
increase it and I am hoping that it works to help me.

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Still Waiting For Lithium

I never did go on Lithium cause of a problem with
my insurance not covering the special time-release
kind that my pdoc wrote a script for. So now I will
wait until my next visit to get the right script.
Other than that I am still dragging along at mildly
depressed so I still can't create art.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Hard To Keep Up With It All

My 89 year old Mother sitting on my Harley in 2010

I find it hard to keep up with life while being depressed.
I don't like always coming here with my depression and
at a low point. But i have nothing else to write about.
My whole life has become about my damn depression.

Today I went on new meds for my bipolar to see if I can
get feeling better. I can't handle being depressed anymore
so I am going on Lithium even though Lithium hampers
my creative spark. If I can stay baseline then I can create
and hopefully my new meds cocktail will do that. :-|

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Creating Art While Depressed?

I guess technically speaking, I could create art while depressed,
but I really don't have the feeling to do it while depressed. So
I need to force myself just a little to get into a creative mood.
A lot depends on if I am set up or not. Meaning is everything
ready or do I have to do something else first?

It's pretty easy to just sit down at the piano and start playing
a beautiful improv, but when the piano is all the way out in
the garage and I have to walk out in the rain to get to it, then
thats something else. Also The piano/keyboard is connected
to a computer which I must first turn on to activate the piano
program. Anyway........... Each thing I have to do makes it harder
to do the thing that I wanted to do in the first place. That is what
bipolar depression is all about.
Welcome to my world!

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Can't Create While Depressed

I do most all of my piano stuff while manic or at least baseline.
It just takes too much energy while depressed or seems that way.
Wishing I would cycle up to manic soon.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Use To Be About The Art

This Weblog De Fuego use to be about my art
but now it's all about my depression and wanting
to be manic again. Manic = Art

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Still Hanging In Here While Depressed

Being bipolar can be depressing but I'm trying to hang in
and make the most of this depressed cycle that I'm in.
In the mean time, enjoy some of my music compositions.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Feeling A Little Better And Checking In

I have been feeling like hell (depressed) lately but today I woke
up feeling a little better all day now. I hope it lasts longer though.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

I Want To Be Manic Again

I want to be manic again. I'm tired of being depressed
and feeling out of sinc. I am thinking of trying Lithium
which should bring me up to baseline and that would
be good and better than doing nothing.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

It's All Hopeless

Depression is hopeless. I have no hope because I'm depressed.
I'm depressed because I have no hope. I have no hope because
I am depressed. Because I am depressed, I have no hope.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Starting To Feel Depressed Again

I am now moderately depressed while taking my meds.
I may need a med change since it makes me feel out of sinc.
Trying to do music but it seems like a chore or an effort.

Sunday, January 02, 2011

2011 has Arrived

I am praying that 2011 will bring a better year than last.
Last year I was in a bike wreck and I hurt my shoulder.
Also a lot of depression kept me down and unproductive.