as it effects me personally. I now see that I can indeed
create while depressed as in sitting at the piano & just
playing something improvisational while depressed.
This works well if such music is recorded as in music
software & midi scores. That way I have a finished
written scored piece of music/art that I have created
But for the M.S. Paintings, I have to struggle to sit there
& just do them. But if I was in a mania, then the doing of
the paintings would almost be as simple as the music scores.
It is the super energy power of a full mania that allows me
to master all 3 arts music painting & poetry. But while
in a depression I can't even be the master of bation.
So creating while depressed must be forced like disciplined
while creating in a mania, is a pleasure and ease to do.
I would love to always be in a controlled mania of artistic
creation & feeling great. But since I am prone to depression
then I either have to learn to create while depressed or
die while trying. Where in hell is my genie when I really