Saturday, November 15, 2008

It Comes In waves

When the depression hits me, it comes on in waves.
Until the waves are crashing against the rocks & shore.
Then I get nervous & antsy & nothings agrees with me.
Then I just either want to kill myself or everyone else.
I feel like no one out there cares about me & what's
worse, nobody out there even knows that I exist,
that is to say, concerning my art & as an artist.

This kind of depression is cyclical and gets worse
with age & over the years. This Weblog De Fuego
has been the main crucible & recording journal of
such ups & downs of my artistic temperament with
bipolarity. As far as me thinking that I am the Achrist
& openly declaring it on most all my blogs, is not 4
any of U to be concerned with. Rather it is true or not
is not the issue here. While said issue is nicely put
away in a box titled my insanity, there it stays until
the aliens (in the future) find it, & make me one of
their mythical gods.

As far as the peanut butter & jelly sandwich goes,
that goes to joe the plumber. So, why would anyone
in their right or left mind want to read anything on
this stupid Weblog De Fuego? 
To learn about bipolarity & creative genius & to see
or read first hand about a crazy guy (me) & his ups
& downs with bipolarity & as an artist who thinks
he is the Achrist. Something which is common among
true bipolar people, is their grandiosity & I excel in
this. 

I personally think that my life is a fascinating and 
eye opening study in such things as creative genius
& the bipolar connection. I even openly claim that
I am insane & getting paid 4 it by the State of 
California. Jeeez Luiz what else do U want. If U R a 
psychology student interested in such things.....
......then I'm your man. Study me & be set free on
your way to a PhD.

Also note that the up swing to such deathly depression
in my beautiful art......Yes i am insane & just plain 
obnoxious at times, but my beautiful piano music
makes up for it here and here,


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