If I Was Superstitious, and I Am!

Today being Friday the 13th, I got up,

Listened to the Daily Audio Bible, and 

prayed.

Nothing To Say Today

Nothing to say today

My brain has gone away

But even if I did

Both my lips have hid :-

Can't find them on my face

They moved from their old place

If you see them send them home

So I can end this poem.:-) 

My Manias Can Be Golden

When we bipolar' are off our meds and in a manic

episode, we can feel like gods in mind body and soul

even though others don't see it. It's that silky smooth

feeling in my soul, like rubbing up against or touching

G-d feeling that I get at times. like when I know all

the answers to all the questions. Like when my every

thought seems like a glimmering jewel on a platter of

silver.....at least to me. A controlled mania (by willpower)

is for me a powerful tool that has no equal. If it was up

to me, I would always be in a controlled mania, but it's

not up to me, it's up to my bipolarity which also can be

depressive causing stupidity. I have recently learned that

there may be new meds out there that can keep me up

and smart, I hope so cause being depressed and dumb 

is just no fun at all. :-)

Seeing My Cycles Without Meds

It was almost impossible for me to note

my bipolar cycles in the past, since I was

always high on something. But after not

drinking alcohol for over a year and not

doing other drugs, I can finally see it

when I shift from one cycle to the next.

Last October 2008 I can remember the

feeling of coming down from a, what seemed

like, two year mania. I went from being 

energetic, sharp/smart, always doing a

project and loving life, to a depressed mess

without the smarts to to anything...... all

within 3-4 days. I couldn't believe it but

it happened before my very eyes. Then I

said, YES I finally got to see and note first

hand while sober, a cycle change in progress.

I was so excited to be witnessing and 

experiencing my cycle change, that I never

felt it until I did, meaning it all happened

so fast that it was over by the time I felt it.

Anyway, now I am looking forward to seeing

my change from this depression I am in, to

an up and energetic mania. But I hope it 

happens soon, cause I am about to go on meds

if it doesn't.  

I May Have To Go On Meds

As much as I hate the idea of going on meds,

I may have to anyway. For the first time in

my adult life, I am in a depressive cycle of

my bipolarity. This is not just a few days or

weeks, but since October of 2008. I have never

been this depressed for this long. This is all 

new to me as I am used to being up manic and

creating art. I am learning a lot about bipolar

meds from a bipolar forum I joined last week.

It seems that I can take some meds and still

be creative, only time will tell. I see a new

pdoc on March 2nd and I am thinking about

trying Lamictal and Ambilify.

True Bipolarity is Rare

More often than not, doctors diagnose bipolarity

as a means to sell their bipolar drugs. This is

now common knowledge among true bipolar'.

I heard a doctor on the net saying that there

are 6 million bipolar' in the USA alone.

But what he didn't say was that out of the 6

million only 600 thousand are true bipolar

and the rest are just led to believe that they

are bipolar. We all know that doctors are in

bed with the drug makers to push their drugs.

True bipolarity is artistic creative genius, but

the rest are just collateral damage. Victims of

the drug makers and their doctors. According 

to doctor (her math) Kay Jamison who is bipolar 

herself, there are only 600 thousand true bipolar' 

worldwide, and 90% of these are artists.

Read Touched With Fire by Dr. Kay Redfield

Jamison. 

Bipolar and Grandiosity

I really don't need to say much here save that

grandiosity is a symptom of bipolarity. It can 

be treated with meds. If you are grandiose then

people won't like to be around you and will walk

away from you shaking their heads. 

GRANDIOSITY..... Don't go there girlfriend.

Good News From My Doctor

It seems that I am not going to die after all.

At least not from any liver problem and not

tomorrow. Oh well! better luck next time!!!

I Have Nothing To Say Today

Walking Away For a While

I have decided to not post anymore on the

Science Forum, at least for a long while.

All I do there is to make myself look more

stupid than I already am. After being accused

of trying to make a pity-party for myself

I realized that I was wasting my time there.

If people want to learn about bipolarity then

they can just go read about it themselves.