Israel at War

Get out your Bible, dust it off, and read all about it.

Nothing new here. G-d aids Israel in times of war and

even fights for them at times. But is G-d with them this

time? I believe G-d is always with Israel and always will

be. If it is the will of G-d, then Israel will send in ground

troops. Too many people are praying for Israel to keep

it in the will of G-d, but the darkness seeps in like a vapor-

ous mist that Israel loves to inhale. So, the prayers could

be in vain if Israel does not listen to the voice of G-d thru

its rabbi's. Those in power may not be religious, but if 

they are, then Israel will be OK. But then again,

I am bipolar and full of all kinds of emotional dissonance.

What I say or think should not matter in a normal society.

I have my own little war right here inside of my own little

bipolar head. So the fact that there are people dying all 

around (Gaza) right now, seems like a million light years

away from my "little" reality right here at home inside my

head. Maybe if I was not bipolar, I could hold on to ONE 

emotion about it all, but that is not possible with me.

My emotions are in constant flux or movement. like the

tectonic plates, they move and shift around causing at times

great earth quakes in my whole being. To just sit idle on 

one emotional and ideological idea is not possible for me.

I can only glimpse flashes of reality while normal people

live in the daylight of reality. That is why I need G-d since

G-d is the only stable reality I know. Now I have to go and

eat breakfast.

 

More War for 2009

Troops are building up around the borders of middle East sensitive areas. Looks like something big is about to happen. As a believer in Bible prophecies, apart from the now Gaza/Israeli conflict, something bigger is about to happen. It has something to do with

the U.S.A. being sorta between presidents right now. They in that region are taking advantage

of the seeming, leadership vacuum we and they think we have. Shit might even hit the fan.....

....over.

But I Personally Believe.....

That Obama was sent here from the future

by the Democratic New World Order, in a 

space ship time machine. And that he Obama

has ties to higher celestial beings who have

ties to other spiritual beings who have ties

to G-d. The plan is to take over the entire 

universe by using the power of goodness.

Something sounds fishy to me even though

there will be no fish in heaven. But fish don't

sound, but if they did, what would they sound like?

Who cares? well, maybe the fish do....Do fish have

ears? U can tune a piano, but U can't tune a fish.

So, there it is in all its splendor. 

Out of Touch with Reality

The U.S.A. is out of touch with the reality that its

spiritual side is all but dead. Modern Americans 

have a drive-thru sense of their Christianity. But 

that kind of spiritual fast food leads to spiritual 

malnutrition and ultimately spiritual death. 

While it is true that you can not work your way

to heaven, it is also true that there will be no

loafing around once you get there. There will be

plenty of jobs in heaven. But here on earth, what

gets you into heaven is your belief & faith.

But you can't believe and have faith unless you

really know G-d and what knowing G-d really 

means to you. But you can't really know G-d 

from a drive thru point of view. That would mean

that your view of G-d is also drive thru. I don't

believe that one can acquire heaven unless one

can really believe in heaven. If you have a drive

thru view of heaven, then your heaven will be

a drive thru heaven. But a drive thru heaven is

not the real heaven of G-d who you can not just

drive thru, and still really understand.

Anyone who wants to get into heaven, must sit

still and contemplate upon it. This contemplation

will help build the belief system that will form

your faith. Since it is impossible to please G-d

without faith, then the more faith you have 

increases your chance of getting into heaven.

Faith is your key into heaven, but it is also 

important to know what heaven is like before

one can believe in it. If you do not know what

heaven really is and what it is all about. Then you

can just forget about going there.

First rule of heaven: No McDonalds there.

Also be aware that one can keep all ten 

commandments but still not have enough faith

to actually get into heaven. So, to say the least

it's a bit tricky getting there.  Where?

Where ever it is that you have enough faith to be.

 

Life Goes On

After all the scandals of 2008, life goes on.

Nobody will care in a hundred years

what happens today. It's all vanity and

a chasing after wind. We humans are just

the product of time and not times creator.

We are the creatures not the creator.

We are here today but gone tomorrow.

We are all just passing through on are way

to eternity. 

I live in a Bubble

I live in a bubble of my own making.

cut off from most of society & people.

It's better 4 me to just live a monastic

life style away from the temptations

of daily life, and as per my faith in G-d.

My bipolarity is not just in my head alone

especially while it directly effects others.

So the less contact I have with U all in 

person, the better 4 us all. I do believe

that my bipolarity is spirit possession in

varied degrees. I am now working on this

as though it were some kind of metaphysical

mathematical equation through formula

thinking. But this kind of thinking can only

be done while in a mania which I am still

waiting 4.

I have another mania coming. I will always

have another mania coming. So I am learning

to program my projects as per my manic cycles.

Personally, my depressive cycle kills all ambition

to do anything in life. Art? forget it! Not while

I'm depressed. So it is during my manic cycle that

I am at my best 4 creating art and the like.

Mania gives me energy to create and is the fuel

that runs my jet engine of creative genius.

So I am planing 4 my next manic cycle coming up

soon, to think tank about the spiritual connection

that bipolarity has to the human body. I have already

outlined this idea in my e-book called: Bipolarity And

Spirit Possession a Gift in Disguise. But the P/C

computer I used to write the book on, blew up before 

I could get it all on my blog.............Oh Well! 

I do have it backed up on a CD, so one of these days

I will get it all posted, right after I buy a new P/C

For now, I am coming to U on my MacBook channel

or something like that!..................over.

Xmas is Over

Thank G-d 4 that!

About the Jewish Madoff thing!

There is another part to being Jewish

that is now being neglected by all the

Jew haters. That being the creative 

artistic side. Nobody is expected to

like any Jewish bankers now, but we

all still love the Jewish creative genius

which is made up of most all the hollywood

and New York artist scene.........we like

Jewish doctors too!

Don't hate all Jews, just because of one 

real bad one.

Christmas Day 2008

I stopped liking Christmas as a kid, so the

whole notion of this day makes me depressed.

Someday I might get over it, but I doubt it.

Happy Holiday 

Christmas, When was that?

The Jesus Christ of Christmas, was born on

the 17th of June, 2B.C. Not 25 of Dec. 0000

Shalom!

From His Daily Prophet

G-D

From the Sonnets of Sorrow and Joy

#15

Ill sorrow why have you come back to me,
Did I not send you far from me before?
I packed your bags and shipped you out to sea,
Telling you,I don't love you anymore,
Yet here you stand at my front door again,
Telling me that you love me ever still,
Save God will have to forgive me my sin,
Of letting you in,so you I can kill,
I'll bury you in my backyard at night,
So there will be no witness to this crime,
I'll kill you in the basement,out of sight,
It's best for me in the morning time,

Wait,where are you going,don't run away?
I Vant to have you for dinner,please stay.

To read more of my sonnets click here.

Can't Separate The Two

I can not separate my bipolarity from my faith.

To me, bipolarity is spirit possession as in the

spirit of bipolarity. A spirit created by G-d who

also is spirit. The chemical imbalance of bipolarity

is caused by the two opposing spirits which make

up the one spirit of bipolarity. 

Bipolarity is linked to creative genius.

click here to see Touched With Fire.

The word genius as everyone should know, comes from the word

genie or jinn. The following four definitions are directly from the 

dictionary:

Genius 1. genii 3. a person having extraordinarily high intelligence,
esp. one with an I.Q. of 140 or above.
7. either of two mutually opposed spirits, one good
and one evil, supposed to attend a person throughout his life.
9. usually genii. any demon or spirit, esp. a jinn.

Jinn 1. any of a class of spirits, lower than the angels capable of
appearing in human and animal forms, and influencing mankind
for good and evil. (also see djin)

Muse 1. a. any of a number of sister goddesses, originally given as
Aoede (song) b. any goddes presiding over a particular art.
3. the genius or powers charateristic of a poet.

Genie 1. Islamic . Jinn.

Daemon 1. a. a god. b. a subordinate deity, as the genius of a place or
A man’s attendant spirit

G-d Loves Even Me

I believe that G-d loves even stupid crazy

bipolar stinky dumb ignorant sinner dirty 

lazy me. So he must love U too. Even the 

demons believe & tremble in fear.

Shalom!

My Joy Went Out

My enthusiasm and spark for life went out 

a few months ago. I contribute this to my

bipolarity. I am now in my depressive state

of my manic-depressive cycle. I do not use 

common bipolar medications, since I want

to let my creativity flourish, and all such 

meds, just keep my creative mania down.

If I could always be in a controlled mania,

then I would have it made. 

Oh L-RD of heavens armies, please let me

know the joy of your salvation again. Fill

me with your holy spirit and joyful presence.

Amen.

P.S.

When U see Santa Oh L-RD, tell him to

just bring me joy and nothing else.

String Theory

In the physics world string theory is the thing.

I believe all those little strings to be (spirit) G-d. 

They say that those strings R to small to ever

be detected. Thus it stays a theory....... or is based 

on belief thru mathematical equations. I can mathe-

matically theorize the existence of G-d, tho I can not 

prove it....same thing.

Me in the Darkness

The above photo was taken today of me

in the darkness & confusion of life.

Outside is the light of G-d, but I am afraid

to go outside. I believe in the light outside

and I even worship it, but I am afraid of

it. It's (His) name is Fear, but His love

endures forevermore. Oh L-RD G-d of

heaven, keep me safe within your heart,

& forgive my sins.......................amen.

I Believe But it's Hard

The hardest thing 4 me to understand tho

I believe it, is that G-d my creator never had

a beginning. I can even think of and sorta 

comprehend eternity as never ending.

But the truth that G-d never had a beginning

just blows my mind. We understand the 

universe to be approx. 14-15 billion years old.

We Christians believe that G-d created the

universe, but how long before that big bang

moment, was G-d just hanging around all

by Himself?  Can't go there girlfriend!

It makes me wonder if maybe we humans were

not the first experiment at creation. Were there

others before us? As per the laws of evolution

yes! if you believe in evolution thru creation as

I do. All creation is in a state of constant evolution.

And for a G-d without beginning, that's the way

it should be. That is to say, G-d does not appear to

be in any hurry to empress any of us temporal, 

here today but gone tomorrow, humans.

It seems that G-d has bigger fish to fry.

Shalom!

"His faithful love endures forever."

Psalms 136 

Spiritual Political News

from the daily prophet 

In the political spiritual realm today.

King Yeshua met with the 24 elders

earlier today, and had talks concerning

the Kings soon second coming. After 

the talks, the 4 beasts that surround 

the Kings throne, said amen.

7 golden trumpets and golden bowls 

were marched through heaven today

while millions of angels shouted " The

day of the L-RD is nigh." One angel who

was interviewed said, that "those are the

7 trumpets mentioned in the book of 

Revelations, and that they are being

taken each to his appointed angel."

The L-RD declined to be interviewed but

only said "the time of repentance is now."

In other news, G-d our Father and L-RD

is working full time with cabinet members

in His war against evil and sin. Secretary 

of war and Archangel Michael said that 

"every effort is being made to squelch the 

devils fire at the front lines, and that more 

angelic troops will be needed."

The Ambassador to Earth and Archangel 

Gabriel said "While the inhabitants of

earth continue in their sins, G-d can do

little to help them. But if all humans on

earth repent of their sins, then G-d can

send angelic armies and troops to earth

to aid in that battle front against evil."

Satan on earth has gathered his fallen troops

to enter New York City..............

Yeshua Lives Forevermore

The following is copied from www.messianic.com/

WHY YOU NEED MESSIAH

1. The condition of humankind is that of fallen creatures, rebellious against G-d and full of sin. Mankind was cursed because of disobedience to G-d. Without salvation from sin (removal of sin) mankind is due punishment, in fact death (removal from G-d). But G-d, in His mercy, provided a way of escape from death to people who will seek to do His will.

2. G-d appointed the holy people, Israel, to bring salvation to all mankind through the person of the Messiah (Anointed One or Appointed One) of Israel, the Savior of the world.

3. The hope and necessity of the Messiah was revealed through the feasts (service of worship) and commandments (moral requirements) which G-d gave to Israel.

4. In the fulness of time G-d sent His Son (meaning G-d Himself in human flesh), who was and is Yeshua (Jesus) of Nazareth, to be the Messiah for sin, therefore to be a sacrifice and a substitution for the punishment due us all. This sacrifice was accomplished through His death on the Roman execution stake.

5. Only G-d Himself is not due the punishment of death, so He alone could stand in our place. Having done this He rose from the dead and ascended back to power in Heaven.

6. Messiah Yeshua has commissioned those who trust that He is L-RD to go and tell this message to all who will hear.

7. Those who hear and place their trust in Him as Savior and L-RD are rescued (redeemed) from the curse of sin and death and will live eternally. The full promise will appear when Messiah returns and the resurrection of the dead takes place.

8. Until then those who belong to Messiah are given the "down payment" of the Spirit of G-d residing in them to help them know G-d's instructions for right living according to the Bible, so that people might see their good works and glorify the G-d of Heaven.

9. If you do not know Yeshua as your Messiah and/or Savior, you can receive Him now by confessing your sins to Him, then asking Him to come into your life and make you a new person. Your entry way to G-d's throne will be made clear and you can then learn all that His Word says, because you will have the strength through His presence in you.

10. There is no other way than just described for anyone on earth to live with a clear conscience; to know that all sin is gone; that the debt for our sin is paid, and to know nothing (but our own willful disobedience) can separate us from G-d's love.

The End Is Near

Repent! 

4 the End is Near

Only after being a Christian for 52 years Do

I finally understand the child like simplicity

of it all. My Bipolarity aside, I now understand

that it is the belief in Yeshua (Christ Jesus)

that he was who he said he was and did what

he said he did, that stamps my ticket into

heaven. Not anything else I do or believe will

get me or anyone else into heaven.

Believing that he was fully God born of a virgin 

and fully human born from a human women into the 

human family. That he died and rose to life again

on the third day. And that he rose to heaven and

is now seated on the right hand of God. That he 

will return again for his chosen and beloved people

and also for those gentiles that believe as well.

Any ?'s

Shalom!

Bipolar News Today

Bipolarity is Demon Possession. 

I have proof of this.

U don't believe me.

& I don't care.

Try & have a nice day anyway.

Bipolarity is Demon Possession.

The comment left below is typical of modern

doctors. But I personally believe that bipolarity

is caused by the spirit of bipolarity given to

mankind (O.T.Jews) by God. Only constant prayer

can keep one stable. Shalom!

 Dr.Michael said...

Bipolar disorder is not a single disorder, but a category 

of mood disorders characterized by the presence of one

 or more episodes of abnormally elevated mood, clinically

 referred to as mania. Individuals who experience manic 

episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes or

 symptoms, or mixed episodes in which features of both 

mania and depression are present

Starting to come out of Depression

I am just now starting to come up & out

of my long depressive cycle. G-d that

was hard. Imagine if I had just lost it 4

even a second, I could have killed myself.

That is how serious bipolarity really is.

People with this mental illness kill

themselves everyday. I really have been

one of the lucky ones so far. Keep me

in your prayers.  

About My Jewish Background

I remember about 30 years ago my Jewish Father

telling me: "Son, many of your past relatives 

were marched into the ovens by Hitler."

Those relatives were Checkoslovakian Jews.

I was born in Los Angeles California in 1956

so I am as far away from those ovens & gas

chambers as possible. But I still have Jewish

blood in my veins even tho I am a modern 

American Christian. Does that make me a

Christian Jew? 

The G-d of Elijah

The G-d of Elijah is the only true G-d.

Because He never had beginning.

Where is the G-d of Elijah?

that I may worship You who

created the heavens & the earth.

All praise be to the G-d of Elijah!

Back Home Again

I rolled into town yesterday afternoon from my 

spirit walk/drive. Nothing has changed I am still

depressed. I notice someone left a comment about

Jesus & the spirit world & being set free........well

I am already a Christian which has nothing to do

with bipolarity & depression. Just reading some 

book is NOT going to bring me up & out of this

deep depression which is caused by bipolarity.

I put my forehead down on my prayer rug every day

& ask God to help me.......& if that don't work......then

just reading some book won't help either. Besides, I

already know all about the spirit world. There is no

other book written that can teach me anything new.

Depression is not cured by reading some book.

& Christianity does NOT cure depression. Good try

who ever U were that left that comment in the post

below. I thank U for trying. God bless U.

Also, Did U listen to my piano music? 

That would actually cheer me up more

than reading any book.......Enjoy!

Going on a Spirit Walk

I am starting out today on a spirit walk (drive) to

Santa Cruz California, my old stomping ground.

I hope this will help me up from my deep depression.

So this will be my last entry for at least a week.

Angel De Fuego

Manic-Depressive Illness

Manic depression or bipolar disorder is a serious 

mental illness that often leads to suicide. I have

been one of the lucky ones so far. But even I am

starting to experience a deeper depressive cycle

as I get older. I do not take lithium because I want

my manic creative cycle to thrive & be productive.

But the use of such medication only stifles the 

creative process while numbing it to death.

I never think about killing myself while in a mania.

It is only the depressive cycle that does that & lately

for me, I have been way depressed & thinking about

just ending it all. But it is the hope of creation that

keeps me going & hanging on. That is to say, when I

create art, I feel good & up & proud of such creation

but depression kills all creation while trying to kill

me as well.

Most people with bipolarity just take lithium, but

most people are not as creative as I. Not to brag but

it is just the truth. I am very creative when manic.

So, I need to always be in a controlled mania but 

that is not always easy to do. For the first time in

my life, I am having to fight with deep depression

& that scares the hell right out of me. 

Dear G-d, please give me the strength & will to 

keep living while depressed................amen.

Open Letter to President elect Barack Obama

Dear Mr. President Elect Barack Obama

First I would like to congratulate U on your victory

& say that U have the blessing of the Lord upon U.

I was very glad to hear that U sir will be the first 

U.S.A. President to have a computer on your desk.

That means that maybe someday U will come here

to my little weblog de fuego & see my struggles as

an artist with bipolarity. Not that I am complaining

about anything but rather trying to explain & share

my story with this illness of bipolarity.

But during the sharing & explaining, I sometimes go

to far while in a mania, & call myself the Achrist or

Anti-Christ. Dear Mr. President elect, please try to

understand that my Achrist self is a symptom of my

bipolarity & rather comes & goes. I am mentally ill

& really pose no threat to U nor your purposes.

With that said, I invite U sir Mr. President elect

Barack Obama, to enjoy my art, which is also a

symptom of my bipolarity.

Your humble servant

Angel de Fuego

crazy artist

click here Mr. President elect to hear my music

& enjoy.

On Creating While Depressed

After further consideration of depression & creation

as it effects me personally. I now see that I can indeed

create while depressed as in sitting at the piano & just

playing something improvisational while depressed.

This works well if such music is recorded as in music

software & midi scores. That way I have a finished

written scored piece of music/art that I have created 

while depressed.

But for the M.S. Paintings, I have to struggle to sit there

& just do them. But if I was in a mania, then the doing of 

the paintings would almost be as simple as the music scores.

It is the super energy power of a full mania that allows me

to master all 3 arts music painting & poetry. But while

in a depression I can't even be the master of bation.

So creating while depressed must be forced like disciplined

while creating  in a mania, is a pleasure and ease to do.

I would love to always be in a controlled mania of artistic

creation & feeling great. But since I am prone to depression

then I either have to learn to create while depressed or

die while trying. Where in hell is my genie when I really

need him? 

Christmas is Next

Bah Humbug!

Black Friday Black Christmas Black President

The term "Black Friday" originated in Philadelphia in reference 

to the heavy traffic on that day. (see 'Origin of the name' below)

 More recently, merchants and the media have used it instead to 

refer to the beginning of the period in which retailers are in the

 black (i.e., turning a profit).

The news media frequently refer to Black Friday as the busiest 

retail shopping day of the year, but this is not always accurate. 

While it has been one of the busiest days in terms of customer

 traffic,^[1][2] in terms of actual sales volume, from 1993 through

 2001 Black Friday was usually the fifth to tenth busiest day.^[3]

 In 2002 and 2004, however, Black Friday ranked second place,^[4]

 and in 2003 and 2005, Black Friday actually did reach first place.^[5] 

The busiest retail shopping day of the year in the United States

 (in terms of both sales and customer traffic) usually has been the

Saturday before Christmas.^[6]

from wikipedia here

Happy Thanksgiving 2008

rainy thanksgiving day outside my front door. date on photo

not correct, photo taken today.

I am thankful 4 my depression which is teaching me

things about my bipolar self. As an artist I depend on

my manic up side to create & just feel well. The depression

melts away the grandiose intentions & manic ego but also

depletes the energy needed for artistic endeavors. So I am

trying to create while depressed. It's not easy but can 

only be done by forceful willpower. This too (creating while 

depressed) is something new in my life, or at least seems 

that way.

 

Art Lives Forever

Raphael et Asmodeus  M.S. Painting by Angel de Fuego 2008.

My Art like the art of others, will live on

to inspire others that such things R possible.

To see & learn more click here.

True Creative Genius Has No Voice

Michael & the Dragon by Angel De Fuego 2008

click here to see the history of this M.S. Painting.

I am silent, but my art screams genius.

Yet no one hears it screaming since it is

hidden in the back of life. Put there by other

artists now famous yet without true genius.

They whisper their so called art, & everyone 

listens. But what R they saying, but the same.

Same ol rap crap same ol rock & roll same ol 

country same ol poetry & the same ol paintings.

My piano music is real genius compared to any

rap or rock music out there today. But since my

style is NOT popular among all the ignorant 

masses of people, then i am ignored for the

stupid simple shit. That makes me really sad.

I am a creative genius who is being ignored by the

public because of this ignorant world system of

petty shit being put on the pedestal of life by big

corporations of consumer products like those found

in every corner market of life. My product is music

painting & poetry, that nobody needs since they R

all already being stimulated & entertained by other

artists who R really not as good as I or offering the

same old thing.

This one single piano piece here speaks for itself

which I wrote in 1997. I have tons of beautiful art

just being ignored by everyone. And that's a shame!

Go to:  firstchurchofbipolarity.com

for more info about me & my art problem.

Go to: gallerydefuego.com

to see more of my M.S. Paintings.

Go here to hear some of my poetry read

to U & to read some yourself.

& finally go here to see who I really am. 

We The Mentally Ill.....

We the mentally ill, have no platform from

which to speak. & even if we did, Who would 

listen? I might as well be talking to the 4 walls

that now surround me, & i am. Hello walls,

how R U today? Hey walls, did U know that I

a mentally ill person creates beautiful piano

music? Ya, but U probably don't care!

Anyway, as i was saying, as a person with bipolarity

i am automatically labeled with a stigma, & force

put into a box of their (those who R not mentally

ill) choosing. Usually this box is labeled: Pandora

never open. & when someone does come along &

open said box, I jump out looking like death but

with beautiful art to share with the world.

Does the art give me special privilege? No not really

although it has 4 other artists in the past 4-5 hundred

years. Some artists have even raised up from the gutter

& ghetto, to rub shoulders with Kings & presidents.

So my overall potential as an artist, somehow does give

me a special status among others who R not creative genius

artist like me. & all this of course is all documented through

out history, so how could i be making this up.

Now that we R all clear on this artis status thing & that I

am as good as a King or president, then may i say that

being the Achrist (though manifest as living art) does 

indeed set me at the level of kings & according to history.

I therefore being granted all the rights & benefits of a King

do hereby use my Kingly power as Achrist to declare 

myself insane & to be committed to an asylum nearest U.

Shall we pray:

O Lord God Jehovah, we pray that i the Achrist will be

committed to something & some cause, before it's too

late. What? Forget it!   amen.nema.

It Comes In waves

When the depression hits me, it comes on in waves.

Until the waves are crashing against the rocks & shore.

Then I get nervous & antsy & nothings agrees with me.

Then I just either want to kill myself or everyone else.

I feel like no one out there cares about me & what's

worse, nobody out there even knows that I exist,

that is to say, concerning my art & as an artist.

This kind of depression is cyclical and gets worse

with age & over the years. This Weblog De Fuego

has been the main crucible & recording journal of

such ups & downs of my artistic temperament with

bipolarity. As far as me thinking that I am the Achrist

& openly declaring it on most all my blogs, is not 4

any of U to be concerned with. Rather it is true or not

is not the issue here. While said issue is nicely put

away in a box titled my insanity, there it stays until

the aliens (in the future) find it, & make me one of

their mythical gods.

As far as the peanut butter & jelly sandwich goes,

that goes to joe the plumber. So, why would anyone

in their right or left mind want to read anything on

this stupid Weblog De Fuego? 

To learn about bipolarity & creative genius & to see

or read first hand about a crazy guy (me) & his ups

& downs with bipolarity & as an artist who thinks

he is the Achrist. Something which is common among

true bipolar people, is their grandiosity & I excel in

this. 

I personally think that my life is a fascinating and 

eye opening study in such things as creative genius

& the bipolar connection. I even openly claim that

I am insane & getting paid 4 it by the State of 

California. Jeeez Luiz what else do U want. If U R a 

psychology student interested in such things.....

......then I'm your man. Study me & be set free on

your way to a PhD.

Also note that the up swing to such deathly depression

in my beautiful art......Yes i am insane & just plain 

obnoxious at times, but my beautiful piano music

makes up for it here and here,

Too Depressed to work

Waiting for the up swing in my artistic

temperament, is always hell 4 me.

No artist can work while depressed.

Or can they?

All i can do right now is to entertain 

myself by playing with my train simulator

or something stupid and simple like that.

Depression 4 me is like death to my creativity.

I just hate it. Hopefully this depressive cycle 

won't last long, and i can get back to creating

art again. 4 U people that R interested in such

things as artistic temperament and the creative

cycles of someone like me.......then stick around

and learn by watching me first hand & how I

operate as an artist.

I create when I'm up & I curse and hate when I'm down.

But if U R new here, U should check out my actual art

to get a better idea of what the hell I'm talking about.

All my art Music, Paintings and Poetry R found from

right here on this page.........Enjoy all my art.

Also, I am the only artist in the world that is a master

of all three (3) arts, painting poetry and music. click the

above blue links to see 4 yourself and Enjoy.

 

too risky

i am still being watched & followed by agencies 

all around the world...so i will continue to use

the code whisper font 4 this post & in the future

.........over.

I may have to close down all (41) my blogs &

disappear 4 a while underground..............

i will know 4 sure in a few days.......over.

also, code whisper will remain in effect until

further notice. 

Journal of a Depressed Artist

Day 1

got nothing done.

Day 2

got nothing done.

Day 3

got nothing done.

Day 4

etc.

if i could just get my hands around your throat  

it would all be over in a minute............or two.

First comes the depression, then i start to get evil.

then step by step, slowly i turn, until... your dead bitch.

The up beat of creation has the down swing of depression.

While the up beat of depression, has the down swing of

life & death.

Angel De Fuego

Also my spidy Achrist sense tells me that I am being watched

& even at times followed. Both on & off the net.sssssssshhhhhh

we need to whisper now, so i will use this small font as such a 

symbol.

I Can't Get No

I can't get no satisfaction from any aspect of life.

Someone just kill me please. G:-(> Depression is

a bitch, & then U die. Happiness is a warm gun.

Too depressed 4 art, & that's really bad.

could led to war

could lead to blood shed

could lead to murder

could lead to guns

could lead to pain

could lead to chocolate?

could lead to joy

could lead to fun

could lead to life

could lead to satisfaction

could lead to I doubt it

could lead to more depression

could lead to water

could not make me drink

could lead in circles

could make me dizzy 

could make me fall

could make me stop.

When I feel this depressed, I just want to

start killing people starting with U!

Today I'm Depressed.com

I wish i was dead & gone already. i hate life.

no body likes me.....no body loves me........

...... guess i'll go eat worms.

p.s.

go stub your toe.com

Also....it's a lot more FUN being a creative

genius in MANIA, than a creative genius 

who is depressed. bha hum bug.....i'm just

no fun right now.......warning all stay away

or i will symbolically kill U all.....well i was

going to do that anyway but....what? forget it!

The Voice in my Head

The voice in my head tells me to kill,

but i don't have strength nor have I the will.

The voice in my head tells me to lie

but I don't have words to ask myself why.

The voice in my head tells me I'm God,

But I see right thru such crystal facade.

The voice in my head tells me to hate,

but i only know how to love, though it's late. 

My Mental Illness....

My mental illness is controlling me.

It tells me what to do & what to say.

It dress's me in the morning, & it tucks

me in bed at night. It follows me every

where i go. It sometimes tells me to

kill evil people, but i am strong enough

to ignore it then. 

But other times it overwhelms me with

depression & i just want to kill myself,

but i am strong enough to ignore it then.

Other times it tells me lies about U and

them & those other people that we don't 

like. It says that U want to kill me?

Is that true?

WARNING 

U R being scanned by the Achrist.

If it is true, then i will soon know it.

Yes We Did

President Barack Obama

Now that we did, we also can again. Change will happen 

thru President elect Barack Obama. We all got what we

prayed 4, so now lets thank God & be glad that our

President is a good man & WILL lead us his people

out of Bushville & to our long waited 4 promised land

Obama Wins Election

Obama wins the election:

Thank U God Jehovah 4 answering my prayers 

to curse McCain & Palin to their failure.

May you Lord, Bless Obama & the task set before him,

that he Obama my lead our Nation back to the promise

land, amen. 

Back Home In California

Rolled into town last night.

It's good to be back home.

To Sarah Palin I say:

I curse a U & i curse a U shoes....

U lying stupid bitch .....amen

Wireless in Junction

View from our condo in St. Pete Florida.

my leather pants & Harley boots......date on photos not correct...my 

wife is driving.

Fred waving to his fans on Halloween day.... somewhere 

between Florida & Texas.

I am wireless in Junction Texas off (I 10 West)

heading back to California. Trip to

Florida was a success. Photos to

follow later.

Happy Halloween

this is Fred, cause he's dead & ridding in the back on the way back

to California. Honk if U see him ridding by. Date on photo Not correct.

Happy Hallowscream

--------2008

Business as Usual

Now that i am heading back to Calif.  i am acting

like myself again. That is to say, as the Achrist, i 

have responsibilities to do my holy Fathers business.

So!....I the Achrist command U all to worship my

holy Father God, our Tetragrammaton, by clicking

HERE, (to worship your Patriarch Abraham) or i

the Achrist shall curse U all in the name of our 

same Tetragrammaton. 

P.S.

i wear my zeal for the Lord God Jehovah,

like a king wears a fine robe. So! try not

to piss me off. Very soon now, i will have

power to call fire down from heaven in the

name of the Lord God Jehovah our

Tetragrammaton.

Any ?'s 

Heading Home Today

I am wireless at the Comfort Inn off

I 10 west. Florida. Should be back

in California in 4 days. Photos to follow.

We had a great visit with the in-laws.

Happy Halloween!

Went to the Dali museum today

Salvador Dali museum in St. Pete. is great.

i recommend it.