I Am Still Here...Sorta.

Nothing to say right now.

Starting Treatment

I will be starting treatment for Hep-C , in about

a month or so. Treatment lasts from 24-72 weeks.

My new doctor says that I am a good candidate for

this kind of treatment and that it should be successful. 

But, I do have to learn to inject (syringe) myself maybe

 up to 4 times a week during treatment. Ouch!

Wish me luck. :-)

I Am Still Updating

Every once in a while I will update this ancient blog.

This Weblog De Fuego homepage is linked to other

blogs of mine. 

Never Mind!

Better yet, just forget it!

Just Getting Back From There

"There" is a place that only I can go
But just because I'm back, don't mean
you can go and start asking a Zillion ?'s
about where is "There"

"There" is somewhere in my head, so it's
not like anybody else can just go there.
What?.......forget it!

Forgetting About My Sonnets

It is easy for me to just forget about all

the sonnets that I have written. So I need 

to post them once in a while to remind 

myself. 

Something Is Blocking Me!

I still can't write a thing on this my Weblog.

I go to forums and write things, but here,

forget it! Maybe I am just bored with this

whole blog thing........again. But it is a log of

my bipolarity from July of 2007 so I still

need to write something down even if it is

just I HATE DOING THIS NOW!!! ......sorry.

There is Plenty Knew

But I am to depressed to talk about it.

Happy Birthday Dad

Today is my dad's 90th birthday!

Nothing to Say Today

Maybe I'm Possessed After All?

I am definitely possessed with depression.

So if there is a spirit of depression, then I

got the little bastard inside of me. So......

the question really is: Is there a spirit

of depression? If I go to my Christian forum

and suggest a spirit of depression, then

most will agree. But if I suggest that I am

possessed with such a spirit, then eyebrows

go up and my salvation gets questioned.

If I go to my bipolar forum and suggest

a spirit of depression, most will not agree

and call it a chemical imbalance which it

actually is. BUT, my question is wondering

if the chemical imbalance is really caused

by the spirit of bipolarity? ...........WHAT?

Forget it?

60 Sonnets From 2002

I wrote these 60 sonnets to inspire myself 

while being falsely accused and put into prison. 

It all turned out OK in the end, but these sonnets

are the product of it all. Please Enjoy!

Nothing Intelligent To Say

Thinking of something intelligent to say

just doesn't work for me sometimes. I could

blame it on my depression, so I will. :-)>

Asked G-d To Take Me

Yesterday I asked G-d to take me but

G-d let me live one more day, so here I am.

Hurrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!

Oh Tetragrammaton!

Keep me from those who would let me

do harm to myself, by believing their lies,

and kill me Oh G-d for my stupidity/foolishness,

and receive my spirit into your loving hands.

*Angel lies down and waits for G-d to take him

for being too stupid to live*

Don't Matter How Far You Come

There will always be someone who thinks

that you have to still come up to their image

level in their serpent brain. For example:

I used to be a wizard and have actually called

the spirits of the dead into my presence so as

to effect things around me and to even enter

the body of a living person their perfect twin. 

But I gave that all up for Yeshua.  What?

Forget it!

Who Were the Nephilim?

Click here to find out what the Bible says

DAB is Down?

If anyone finds their way here from Daily

Audio Bible, please tell Brian that the DAB

site is down. Every time I try to go there,

all I get is this:

Database Error: Unable to connect to the database:Could not connect to MySQL

It don't seem like it is a problem from my end, since every place

else I want to go on the net, I can go. It all started after trying to

reply to a new thread titled COKE. the author is called iamacanadian1

or something like that. I did get back once this morning and left a post

on the windfarm new thread.......anyway!

Obama is AntiChrist?

I have been wondering since before

his election, if Obama could be the 

so called AntiChrist or angel of light

who takes over little by little and even

almost tricks the true believers.

But now if Obama nationalizes the banks

City Group and Bank of America....and it

looks that way, then Obama really is the

AntiChrist. I have done lots of research

on this.

Demonic Stronghold ?

Why on earth the devil would ever want

to hold me, is beyond me. I don't like him 

either. It seems like spirit molestation akin

to child molestation. That is to say, if the devil

ever had a stronghold on me, it would be because

he was spiritually molesting me. Like a spiritual

pervert. Does this make any sense?

Nibiru and 2012

Nibiru+2012

Mexican Muslims-This is Not Good

Right in out back yard, we (USA) have a growing

problem. Right now it seems harmless, but later

we may have Islamic Mexican extremists living

in TJ. Click here to see and here the nest of 

vipers forming. 

Mexico Discovers Islam

The fact that Mexico is turning to Islam

makes me wonder about Muslim & Catholic

relations in the same towns. Sounds dangerous!

I live right near the border on USA side, so 

I hope not!

Market Losses, No Big deal

Wife and I have lost $20.000 in recent market

down turns, but I really don't care. Like Job

in the Bible, I came in with nothing, and would

rather go with nothing. My depression has 

nothing to do with money. I have been homeless

and poor many times in my life because of my 

bipolarity. The truth is I will never be rich since

Jesus says that it is almost impossible for a rich

man to go to heaven.....so I don't want to be rich,

cause that thought scares me.

see article below:

Dow Nears Lowest Level In a Decade

Brian DAB Look Alike Contest

As you can see, I look just like Brian on his DAB site

photo. I even wear black too! :-)> Luv You brother Brian!

Gyd.

LISTEN TO DAILY AUDIO BIBLE

If I Was Not a Christian, I'd Kill Myself

Thank G-d that I am a believer in Him,

or I would have killed myself months ago.

I could still get worse with depression but

I am hoping that my faith will make the

difference in the end. Only G-d or meds can

save me now. Now I understand why people

do it since bipolarity really can drive one mad.

Bipolarity Sucks and Then U Die

I have been bipolar my whole life, but this

is the first time that I have had a Major 

depression like this. It really does get worse

with age. I will soon go on meds and am even

asking for prayer. it's all up to G-d now!

God Or G-d

Sometimes we Jews write God like: G-d

depending on who we are talking with.

But I am a Christian Jew sometimes called

Messianic Jew. So when I am on a Christian

forum I write God, but when I am on the

messianic forum I write G-d. Sometimes

I can't remember which is which and where

I am so to me God is really G-d

What?

Forget it!

If I Was Superstitious, and I Am!

Today being Friday the 13th, I got up,

Listened to the Daily Audio Bible, and 

prayed.

Nothing To Say Today

Nothing to say today

My brain has gone away

But even if I did

Both my lips have hid :-

Can't find them on my face

They moved from their old place

If you see them send them home

So I can end this poem.:-) 

My Manias Can Be Golden

When we bipolar' are off our meds and in a manic

episode, we can feel like gods in mind body and soul

even though others don't see it. It's that silky smooth

feeling in my soul, like rubbing up against or touching

G-d feeling that I get at times. like when I know all

the answers to all the questions. Like when my every

thought seems like a glimmering jewel on a platter of

silver.....at least to me. A controlled mania (by willpower)

is for me a powerful tool that has no equal. If it was up

to me, I would always be in a controlled mania, but it's

not up to me, it's up to my bipolarity which also can be

depressive causing stupidity. I have recently learned that

there may be new meds out there that can keep me up

and smart, I hope so cause being depressed and dumb 

is just no fun at all. :-)

Seeing My Cycles Without Meds

It was almost impossible for me to note

my bipolar cycles in the past, since I was

always high on something. But after not

drinking alcohol for over a year and not

doing other drugs, I can finally see it

when I shift from one cycle to the next.

Last October 2008 I can remember the

feeling of coming down from a, what seemed

like, two year mania. I went from being 

energetic, sharp/smart, always doing a

project and loving life, to a depressed mess

without the smarts to to anything...... all

within 3-4 days. I couldn't believe it but

it happened before my very eyes. Then I

said, YES I finally got to see and note first

hand while sober, a cycle change in progress.

I was so excited to be witnessing and 

experiencing my cycle change, that I never

felt it until I did, meaning it all happened

so fast that it was over by the time I felt it.

Anyway, now I am looking forward to seeing

my change from this depression I am in, to

an up and energetic mania. But I hope it 

happens soon, cause I am about to go on meds

if it doesn't.  

I May Have To Go On Meds

As much as I hate the idea of going on meds,

I may have to anyway. For the first time in

my adult life, I am in a depressive cycle of

my bipolarity. This is not just a few days or

weeks, but since October of 2008. I have never

been this depressed for this long. This is all 

new to me as I am used to being up manic and

creating art. I am learning a lot about bipolar

meds from a bipolar forum I joined last week.

It seems that I can take some meds and still

be creative, only time will tell. I see a new

pdoc on March 2nd and I am thinking about

trying Lamictal and Ambilify.

True Bipolarity is Rare

More often than not, doctors diagnose bipolarity

as a means to sell their bipolar drugs. This is

now common knowledge among true bipolar'.

I heard a doctor on the net saying that there

are 6 million bipolar' in the USA alone.

But what he didn't say was that out of the 6

million only 600 thousand are true bipolar

and the rest are just led to believe that they

are bipolar. We all know that doctors are in

bed with the drug makers to push their drugs.

True bipolarity is artistic creative genius, but

the rest are just collateral damage. Victims of

the drug makers and their doctors. According 

to doctor (her math) Kay Jamison who is bipolar 

herself, there are only 600 thousand true bipolar' 

worldwide, and 90% of these are artists.

Read Touched With Fire by Dr. Kay Redfield

Jamison. 

Bipolar and Grandiosity

I really don't need to say much here save that

grandiosity is a symptom of bipolarity. It can 

be treated with meds. If you are grandiose then

people won't like to be around you and will walk

away from you shaking their heads. 

GRANDIOSITY..... Don't go there girlfriend.

Good News From My Doctor

It seems that I am not going to die after all.

At least not from any liver problem and not

tomorrow. Oh well! better luck next time!!!

I Have Nothing To Say Today

Walking Away For a While

I have decided to not post anymore on the

Science Forum, at least for a long while.

All I do there is to make myself look more

stupid than I already am. After being accused

of trying to make a pity-party for myself

I realized that I was wasting my time there.

If people want to learn about bipolarity then

they can just go read about it themselves.

Starting to Talk a Little

Coming out of depression and into my manic cycle

is always interesting in that I start to talk more.

But at first it seems that what I have to say makes

no sense at all. For example, I am now starting to

write threads on the science forum but the people

there don't know me from Adam and are a little

offended by my grandiosity and ego about my

creative genius. But I do not expect everyone to

know all about bipolarity and its connection to

creative genius. If everyone in the world read

the same books that I have about bipolarity, then

we would all be on the same track. It is a task to

try and educate people about true bipolarity and

it symptoms. I have had it my whole life so I know

what the hell I am talking about. Believe me when

I say that bipolarity is the breeding ground of creative

genius. All true artists are truly bipolar. It is as simple

as that and according to years of my research. But don't

take my word for it. Read Touched With Fire by Dr.

Kay Jamison. She is the worlds leading authority on

bipolarity and has written 5 books about it.

 

Coming Out of My Depression

I am finally coming up and out of my depressive cycle.

These things take time and are easily documented.

But only another bipolar like myself can truly know

what I am talking about and be interested in such things.

That is why I try to write it all down. But in the past I

have deleted many blogs about my bipolar cycles due

to the nature of their content. That is to say, I sometimes

create blogs that have evil type content such as my

Achrist blogs from last year. Those blogs were product 

of a manic episode and should have been left as documentation

of the same. But people who find these type of blogs, do

not know that they are just the product of mania and

that the blogs author (me) am not always like that.

To The Normal Eye

To the normal eye, I have a stigma. My stigma

is my mental illness and my mental illness is

my manic-depressive bipolarity. But true bipolarity

breeds creative genius which is seen by the normal

eye as a gift. So my stigma is a gift. But the normal

eye is not gifted and lacks to much stigma. So we

discard it as undesirable. The normal eye belongs

to the normal person lacking stigma and the gift.

But that which lacks the gift is undesirable so we

should discard it to the fire. So all normal people

will be discarded into the fire since they lack the

desired gift. That leaves all of us stigmatic mentally

ill and gifted people finally in charge of the world.

Social stigma, a severe social disapproval of personal characteristics 

or beliefs that are against cultural norms. A topic in mental health 

literature.

Bipolar Music

My bipolar piano music can be heard here

But why on earth would anyone want

to hear bipolar music? G-d only knows.

Art And Bipolar Cycles

It is experienced by Angel that creating art is

best done while in a mania, and that all other

art is just wana be art.

Waiting For A Mania

As an artist, Angel lives for his up time to create.

There is nothing else in the world like a good 

controlled mania for creating art. But this can

not be forced nor induced by drugs. It must come

as and be natural in order to be sustainable. 

Almost There

Right now Angel is kinda almost there. That is to 

say, actually in a mania. In the beginning of his

manic climbs, he goes up 1 stair but down two stairs. 

This happens for about a month then it starts to

climb level. It is in the "Almost There" mode that

Angels gets nothing done. Angel is NOW in this mode

but showing signs of life with this post.

Documenting My Illness

Since 2007, Weblog De Fuego has been trying to

document the up and down cycles of bipolarity.

Angel De Fuego sometimes deletes blogs (pages)

of Weblog De Fuego that were products of his manic

episodes. But in doing so, some of the vital data

related to bipolarity gets deleted also. This example

shows what this means. Those people who got to 

see this now deleted blog, know full well what

this means. Angels potential for looking evil is 

great, but his heart is not into it. So blogs get deleted

that should have been left to study for info about

bipolar cycles. After deleting about 10 blogs that

related to Angels claim to be the Achrist, and other

evil related looking stuff. Angel now feels that he

should have left these blogs as documented evidence 

of his bipolar cycles. The fact that they existed and

were seen, read, heard, and commented upon by

people, is proof alone that Angel is truly crazy.

But Angel is now walking upon a different road than

before. Angel agrees with his new President, that we

all must leave behind childish things, and start to

try to help out more, each his fellow man. So during

Angels next manic episode, becoming the Achrist will

NOT happen. Instead, (though anything could happen)

Angel will try to focus his creative energies on helping

America move forward as a Christian Nation under G-d.

Although Angel will most likely NOT go door to door

with a gospel, he could however put a large wooden

cross on a small wheel, and drag it thru town.

Even so, Angel feels very lucky and very loved by G-d

that he has SSI only each month, to get him by.

That is to say, in light of recent economic events and

the fact that Angels neighbor just lost his job and has

NO income. So being mentally ill and on SSI right now

does not seem as bad as it used to. 

Moving Right Along

Weblog De Fuego thinks it could do more than 

just to sit around and contemplate its own navel.

Weblog De Fuego has been posting since 2007

but has never been political or informative. 

Its creator, Angel De Fuego, has serious mental

issues from severe bipolarity and can mostly 

only function  as an artist in seclusion. 

Deep depression restricts and confines Angel

at home and this depression comes in cycles.

During the highs (mania) of each cycle, Angel is

creating art, but not commercially. But the cycles 

get worse with age, so Angel goes even further

into the insanity of his mental illness. That means

almost anything could happen on Weblog De Fuego.

Those who already know about Weblog De Fuego

and its completely dark and evil past, have an idea

of what this means. Angel has deleted many of his

dark evil and Achrist blogs. Those blogs were product

of many manic episodes. Anything could happen on

this blog in 2009. Angel has a mania coming. 

It is a law in his cycles, that after a depression there

is a mania. Angel takes no medication for bipolarity

and this gives full rein of the illness to show itself

in full, and thereby be documented.

Speech: In My Own Little World

This is not a political blog, and I have bipolarity.

That pretty much assures that no body will ever

read this blog. But I walk alone on the road of life

with faith in G-d, that I too can someday become

something or someone. A voice crying in the dark

and media-less solitude which lies not within my 

own mind, but the real state of affairs which affairs

are questioned in the face of reality. So I now pick

myself off, dust myself up, and join my new leader

to keep to myself and out of society where I am a

nuisance. It is indeed better for all mankind, that I

just sit down and shut up and stop making myself

looking foolish to the world. However, I can not do

this alone, I need your help. Each American must do

his part in the effort to tie me down to a chair and

formal meeting. 

It won't be easy, at first  there will be struggles and

false starts, but I know that as a people, you all can

keep me safe and from the evils of the world. I want 

to make it into heaven, but if each one of you takes

part in me being influenced by evil, then I too will

start to act as you and become evil also. It is the 

responsibility of each American to keep me safe and

out of arms way. That is why I have signed into act

this law that forces every American to protect my

rights and keep me alive and safe. This also guarantees 

my safe arrival in heaven and for eternity with G-d.

Thank you and may G-d bless America.

G-d Bless the 44th

G-d bless President Barack Obama.

Mexico Collapsing

Mexico in danger of collapse, says US army - Jan 16, 2009 America, which shares a 2000 mile border with Mexico, would be the obvious destination for massive refugee flows if its neighbour descended  into civil war. ...

Experts say: Iran Will Have Nuke This Year

Iran will have nuke this year.

A panel of experts has concluded that time is dangerously running 

out for the U.S. to put in place a protective anti-missile umbrella. 

The biggest threat is Iran, which the panel forecasts will have the 

A-Bomb this year.

Islam Out of Mexico

Islamic missions in Mex. are popping up in recent

years. In 2005, then President Fox of Mex. said that

he was concerned with  an ever growing islamic 

community in Mexico and its ties to al-Qaida.

USA plans border SURGE 

to help fight war on drugs.

Marines restricted from Mexico.

  

Islam On March South of Border

Mexico agrees to monitor foreign groups as 

Muslim recruitment rate skyrockets.

In recent years islamic recruitment has taken foothold

in Mexico, and it is just a matter of time before Mexican

drug war lords become Islamic Jihadist. If USA does not

do something about it now, then we will soon be fighting

a holy war with Mexico.  

The recruitment of new followers is especially active in southern Mexico and among the indigenous Mayans who are converting by the hundreds, according to a report in Der Spiegel. The Mexican government, the report says, is concerned about a culture clash in its own back yard.

About 300 Tzozil-Indians have converted to Islam in recent years and it's a development that is beginning to worry the Mexican government, said the Der Spiegel report. The government even suspects the new converts of subversive activity and has already set the secret service onto the track of the Mayan Muslims. Mexican President Vincente Fox has even gone so far as to say he fears the influence of the radical fundamentalists of al-Qaida.

Indeed, with Islamic "charities" under increasing international pressure and scrutiny to cut ties with terrorists, al-Qaida and other allied organizations are expanding operations throughout Latin America, establishing both legitimate and criminal enterprises to fund future operations.

From a 2005 article 

Border Invasion Pics

Click here to see current photos/videos

of illegals crossing into USA. This is and

will continue to be a problem until we build

the dooms day device and set it off in Mex.

city. Once all the Mexicans are dead, then we

can march into Mex. and re-claim it for America

and apple pie. Then we will import people from

South America to do the jobs that used to belong

to those Mexicans.......God save the Queen. 

I don't like Mexicans illegally crossing over into

my American border town with an over inflated

sense of privilege to my Governments storehouse.

If Mexicans would put as much creative energy into

their own countries well being, as they do into getting

illegally across the border, then they would see their

own resources as exploitable and sustainable.

Having the USA and its tempting glitter shinning in the

Mexican eye, is just a stumbling block to the mexican 

people and their own success. They would rather come

to the USA and sponge off its welfare system than stay

in Mex. and learn how to get their own oil out of the 

ground.  They all make me sick!

USA Mexico War

Every day, I hear gun fire across the border.

I live in San Ysidro USA a stones throw from the 

border. I don't have kids, but if I did, I would 

keep them inside and out of school. It is not safe

for Americans to go into mexico anymore. 4000

drug war related deaths were in TJ alone in 2008.

We here in San Ysidro need the USA troops here

right now to prevent an eventual drug war here in

San Ysidro. The Mexican troops came too late to

TJ and long after the drug war began. But if we can

protect San Ysidro from such a thing happening,

by brining the troops in first, then I think we should.

There is also a growing islamic movement in Mexico

since and before 2005. But now it is getting worse. 

Are the Mex. drug war Lords really islamic extremists?

If there not now, they will soon be.

 

USA Mexico War

USA Mexico War

A real war is coming around border crossing issues but mexico 

is too ignorant to see it. I predict troop build ups, on both sides 

of the border, in the near future. More Americans will become 

even less tolerant of illegal mexicans crossing each day. It's just a 

matter of time before USA Closes the border in and out of Mex.

Now USA Marines are no longer allowed in Mex. And Mex. is 

on the verge of total collapse of its internal structure.  Once the 

drug war in TJ spills over into USA border towns like San Ysidro,

then the USA troops will start collecting there in San Ysidro.

Once that happens...and it will, then all hell will break lose. 

 

Mexico in Civil War: Will Soon Collapse?

Travel Warning About Mexico

The drug related civil war inside mexico rages on out

of control while travel warnings go out to all North

American to "Stay out of Mexico" until further advised.