My bipolar 1 disorder with psychotic ideations is best seen through
my manic episodes or depressed state as God or Lucifer. That is to
say that when I am depressed I go into a humble state of seeking
God and wanting God to comfort me and be near me. I pray and I
live more open to doing good. But in contrast when I am manic and
in an episode I get Antichrist like and am into thinking I may be a
prophet for Lucifer or I could start a Satanic church and beg for
money in Lucifers name the same way that preachers beg for money
in Jesus name then spend it on themselves.
Not all bipolar 1 people have psychotic ideations but I have that type
really bad and I can rant for centuries about it if given the chance.
So thank God that He has shortened my life to 120 years as the bible
says tho I may not live that long, lol. So if you can imagine yourself
in the same situation as I with having bipolar 1 with psychotic ideations
and still doing what ever it is your doing? How would your life differ
from the way it is now if you were like me? I have been locked inside
of rubber rooms and strapped face down on gurneys so I have been
thru the valley of insanity and saw the darkness all around me.
I am not out of it yet and still the darkness prevails but yet with less
intensity for now I see little shimmers of light coming thru from what
seems light years away. There really are not that many people like me
in the world, and those that are similar are locked up or are already dead.
Read Touched With Fire by dr. Kay Redfield Jamison. She showcases
a few artists in the past that were bipolar 1 like me.
So the only thing that you all will be able to do with me is to either
kill me or lock me up where I can do no harm by writing crap all over
my weblog and facebook page about other crap that is even crappier
crapy'er crapie'er than the first crap in the first place. Again thank God
that no one will care in a hundred years since we will all be dead then.
Now if you will excuse me I must go and find my proton pump inhibitor
so I can hunt down and kill some little ideation critters. I ask the god
Omeprazole for his help, Amen.
