Last Day

This is new years Eve and the last day of 2011.

I believe 2012 will bring in many changes and some

even good. happy new year to all.

Penis Enlargement

First of all, yes it does really work with the right

equipment and technique. Secondly I have personally

gained over 1" (inch) since Sept/20/2011 and this by

working the exercises/techniques daily.

I came upon it by researching Peyronie's Disease which

I got at the beginning of 2011. That led me to the cure and

some other surprising info.

Soul Shields 2012

If your not wearing your soul shields in 2012 then you should be.

Without them you are opening the doors and windows to your soul

by which can enter every evil thing proceeding from the Dark Riff

as the Mayans predicted would happen.

Dark Riff

Ballade Update

Fredric Chopin 1810-1849

I am moving right along with the ballade in spite of the

Dupuytren's Contracture which affects both my hands

but mostly my #3 finger on my right hand.

So far I have been able to play thru without any pain

or discomfort and I think my #3 finger is starting to

straighten out a bit do to constant tapping of the keys.

Working On The Ballad #2 by Chopin

Played here by Zimerman

Off Lithium and On New Meds

I went on new meds two weeks ago and I'm Off Lithium.

Today my doctor said to give the new meds time to work.

So I hope in two more weeks I will be feeling better.

Finally On Good Dose of Lithium

My Pdoc put me on 900mg of Lithium yesterday so now

after 5-7 days, I will see if it works for me to stop my

depression. Wish me luck. :-)

I Finally Got On Lithium

I am on a low dose for now but later my doctor will

increase it and I am hoping that it works to help me.

Still Waiting For Lithium

I never did go on Lithium cause of a problem with

my insurance not covering the special time-release

kind that my pdoc wrote a script for. So now I will

wait until my next visit to get the right script.

Other than that I am still dragging along at mildly

depressed so I still can't create art.

Hard To Keep Up With It All

My 89 year old Mother sitting on my Harley in 2010

I find it hard to keep up with life while being depressed.

I don't like always coming here with my depression and

at a low point. But i have nothing else to write about.

My whole life has become about my damn depression.

Today I went on new meds for my bipolar to see if I can

get feeling better. I can't handle being depressed anymore

so I am going on Lithium even though Lithium hampers

my creative spark. If I can stay baseline then I can create

and hopefully my new meds cocktail will do that. :-|

Creating Art While Depressed?

I guess technically speaking, I could create art while depressed,

but I really don't have the feeling to do it while depressed. So

I need to force myself just a little to get into a creative mood.

A lot depends on if I am set up or not. Meaning is everything

ready or do I have to do something else first?

It's pretty easy to just sit down at the piano and start playing

a beautiful improv, but when the piano is all the way out in

the garage and I have to walk out in the rain to get to it, then

thats something else. Also The piano/keyboard is connected

to a computer which I must first turn on to activate the piano

program. Anyway........... Each thing I have to do makes it harder

to do the thing that I wanted to do in the first place. That is what

bipolar depression is all about.

Welcome to my world!

Can't Create While Depressed

I do most all of my piano stuff while manic or at least baseline.

It just takes too much energy while depressed or seems that way.

Wishing I would cycle up to manic soon.

Use To Be About The Art

This Weblog De Fuego use to be about my art

but now it's all about my depression and wanting

to be manic again. Manic = Art

Still Hanging In Here While Depressed

Being bipolar can be depressing but I'm trying to hang in

and make the most of this depressed cycle that I'm in.

In the mean time, enjoy some of my music compositions.

Feeling A Little Better And Checking In

I have been feeling like hell (depressed) lately but today I woke

up feeling a little better all day now. I hope it lasts longer though.

I Want To Be Manic Again

I want to be manic again. I'm tired of being depressed

and feeling out of sinc. I am thinking of trying Lithium

which should bring me up to baseline and that would

be good and better than doing nothing.

It's All Hopeless

Depression is hopeless. I have no hope because I'm depressed.

I'm depressed because I have no hope. I have no hope because

I am depressed. Because I am depressed, I have no hope.

Starting To Feel Depressed Again

I am now moderately depressed while taking my meds.

I may need a med change since it makes me feel out of sinc.

Trying to do music but it seems like a chore or an effort.

2011 has Arrived

I am praying that 2011 will bring a better year than last.

Last year I was in a bike wreck and I hurt my shoulder.

Also a lot of depression kept me down and unproductive.